Day 4 - Answering the Call Part 2
Some time later God tested Abraham. He said to him, “Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. Then God said, “Take your son, your only son, whom you love—Isaac—and go to the region of Moriah. Sacrifice him there as a burnt offering on a mountain I will show you.” Early the next morning Abraham got up and loaded his donkey. He took with him two of his servants and his son Isaac. When he had cut enough wood for the burnt offering, he set out for the place God had told him about. 9 When they reached the place God had told him about, Abraham built an altar there and arranged the wood on it. He bound his son Isaac and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then he reached out his hand and took the knife to slay his son. But the angel of the Lord called out to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!” “Here I am,” he replied. Genesis 22:1-3;9-11 (NIV)
I experienced an intense “Here I am” moment in which God revealed His larger plan for me in regards to my illness. I can pinpoint the exact time, place, and feeling of when it happened, and my life was never the same after that. I now am experiencing an inverse relationship – as I grow my acceptance of my illness, I feel an increased urge to walk in what He has called me to do. The opposite is just as true – as I gain confidence in answering His call to me, I become more accepting of my condition. However, answering Him is not always easy. To be completely honest, it’s a scary trek full of mountains and valleys. And when I fall off the path, He’s waiting to put me back on it; He’s patient with my stubbornness and failures. I don’t expect the trek to get any easier in 2019, but what I want is to answer His calls to me quicker and more confidently. I no longer want to say “Here I am” in fear; I want to answer with the peace of knowing He’s got me 100%.
When He speaks
If the verses above from Genesis 22 scared you, no worries – I’m not going to tell you that you need to sacrifice your child to answer the call. The above passage actually exemplifies something simple – hearing and responding when God speaks to you. But, if it’s so easy, why do we choose to ignore the call? Better yet, why do we choose to not reply? One of my theories (it’s true, at least for me) is that we are afraid of what God might ask of us. Can you imagine what went through Abraham’s head when God told him to sacrifice the son he waited 100 years for? If it was me, I would’ve look side-eyed and possibly even used some curse words. But Abraham understood God’s sovereignty, and trusted His plan. When we understand that we aren’t in control, we accept that God is – and sometimes that means we have to experience some pain or hurt.
What we forget when we conjure up all these “what ifs” is that accepting the call only serves to benefit us. First, God’s plan is to “prosper you and not to harm you” (Jeremiah 29:11). Second, God’s plan will come to fruition whether you’re on board or not. “I make known the end from the beginning, from ancient times, what is still to come. I say, ‘My purpose will stand, and I will do all that I please.’ From the east I summon a bird of prey; from a far-off land, a man to fulfill my purpose. What I have said, that I will bring about; what I have planned, that I will do.” (Isaiah 46:10-11, NIV) Catastrophic thinking will get you nowhere fast; fear’s only purpose is to prevent you from moving forward into a better you.
Here I Am
Speaking of catastrophic thinking…If you’re like me, you tend to overthink everything and play out every possible scenario in your head. That behavior has appeared in my walk with God, too. It took me years to understand that God doesn’t want some sophisticated response or theological, denominationally-appropriate answer to everything He says to you. First and foremost, He just wants acknowledgement. In the passage from Genesis, Abraham uses three simple words that convey his deep faith and respect for God. “Here I am” is not a minor response in terms of meaning, though. It acknowledges God’s call, makes you emotionally, spiritually, and mentally present in that moment, and leaves room for God to respond however He wants to. “Here I am” says “I hear you God, and I’m all ears.”
It doesn’t matter where you are in your faith walk. You can be new to Christ or a seasoned pastor. We all are tasked with answering when He calls. “Here I am” doesn’t mean you are perfect and it doesn’t even mean that you are happy or that you understand it all. It simply means you are willing to open your ears to what He has to say. So, I’m preparing to have my ears wide open this year, waiting to hear when He speaks.